Tuesday, December 6, 2011

The phrase of the day is 'delayed gratification'

It's 3:30am.

For some reason when I line return inside this editor the cursor pops back to the top left. However, if I begin typing it returns to the correct line.

I've been having the strangest sort of deja vu while listening to my audiobooks. As if I had hear or read the story before but I don't recall having ever done so. As if I have a pre-processor prior to memory and that pre-processor is duplicating calls.

An elderly lady stopped me in the grocery store today and ask if I would put a pallet of water from the shelf onto the bottom basket of her cart. I did so without hesitation. I don't give money to pan-handlers or bell ringers and I'm very picky about where my charitable donations go, however if a stranger asks me to help lift something or asks for directions I feel overwhelmingly compelled to help out. As if it would an atrocity for me to deny a request for such simple and low impact favor with no expected return. I don't believe in deities or karma, I don't believe that our actions are some how mirrored in later coincidence or consequence. I'm having a hard time reconciling the part of me that hates most of humanity and despises their unbidden mettling in my life and the part of me that wants to feel the elation of helping someone for no discernible reason.

Am I the only one that feels that the above is so damn fluffy I think I'm going to die.

I've run into a snag with my Lego collecting and model building. The remain sets that I want are all $80+ dollars. Some part of me cringes at buying something solely for entertainment with no practical purpose.

My doctor reminded me today that my 30 year maintenance schedule is coming up next month. Guess I should figure out how I want to celebrate my solar revolution. Gonna be fucking cold in January.

1 comment:

  1. 1. Yes, but I love you fluffy bunny. :) I actually think that this kind of reaction - helping another human just because you can - is what makes the argument that spirituality is the only thing that breeds "morality" (loosely using this term) totally moot.

    2. I think a 30year party is in order. Fuck the cold, we will just have to drink more.