Three men sit in a conference room. On the table in front of them is a pile tokens. They are playing a game where they make bets on the outcomes of situation.
The first guy, let's call him GM, looks at the second guy, lets call him DEV, and says "I bet you my job that you can turn a out a spoon that also has a fork on it within the next 365 days."
DEV says "I could do that but there where some other things we also want to do, lets say add a longer handle and some advanced fork tong technology"
GM: "Can you do that with the chips on the table and within 365 days"
DEV says "These aren't enough chips to complete your original proposal but I think that's enough time if we don't add the extras"
GM: "Okay, take out some of the minor changes in my plan, then you can do it on budget and time, and we'll get to the minor bugs and the extra features later"
DEV: "Okay, lets organize. QA you ready to test these new forks?"
QA: "We don't know anything about new forks merged with spoons. BTW GM what are we going to call them"
GM: "For now, call them Forks-2.0, we'll give it a project name soon"
QA: "Okay, so tell us DEV what features can we expect?"
DEV: "Oh, we don't write that, GM does and he's out of town for 2 weeks now. However, I do know some of the stuff we wanted to add in, lets start working on that, it'll eventually go in"
QA: "Okay, if you say so...." GM: "We're calling it SPORK, and here is a minimal list of features that I expect in the product. Also lets move the time line up so that we can premiere at the super important conferences."
DEV: "With all the features?" QA:"We don't have time to test that"
GM:"Guys guys, calm down, I made a schedule, lets go by that"
DEV:"It's a project file......I'm using linux"
QA: "It's a project file.........I hate office....."
DEV: "This will be difficult, I'm going to need 3 more fork-engineers to make these time tables"
GM: "Steal them from QA"
QA:"HEY, *I* am out of resources"
GM:"Um.....take some of the developers from the other product teams, that product probably doesn't work anyway"
DEV:" Okay, so now we have QA doing development and developers doing QA?"
GM:"Yes, it's all part of the 'shared knowledge' program"
QA:"we aren't going to make these dates" GM:"WARNING WARNING DANGER DANGER! THE PROJECT IS IN RED, I REPEAT SPORK IS IN RED, ALL HANDS ON DECK, IGNORE ALL ELSE BUT THIS PRODUCT"
DEV:"That was entirely unnecessary..........."
QA:"UH, hey, guys, we've found a lot of issues, some of them were gonna have to call VENDOR to resolve"
GM: "Okay, we don't have a support contract with them, but we have a rough agreement, I'm sure they'll get right on any of our issues" \
VENDOR: "Yeah, give us 3 weeks. 8 of our developers are on maternity leave and the other 12 have been sick for 3 monhts"
QA:"We're gonna just sit in the corner....maybe play some Angry Birds"
DEV: "FORGE ALL THE SPORKS WITH NO QA UNTIL THE END"
VENDOR: "Uh....have you tried retimpering and adding all these INGOTS one at a time?"
DEV:"Okay, after several weeks of 20 hour days, and a couple of deaths we have integrated all the VENDOR INGOTS into our SPORK. QA lets test this bitch!"
QA: "It appears to be performing up to spec and we even verified some of DEVs extra features but where are the minor bug repairs?"
DEV:"NO TIME! We ship SPORK tomorrow"
QA: "So all of these go into the next SPORK release?"
GM:"yeah yeah yeah, obviously"
DEV:"All done, send it out GM"
GM:"PREPARE THE GREAT SPORK SHIPPING BADGER!!!!"
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VENDOR: "Did you know that the SPORK SHIPPING BADGER was vicious and ate all the food, all the people and all the sporks"
GM:"He didn't sell the sproks?"
VENDOR: "Yeah, we are going to disassociate ourselves with you. That is unless you pay us to repair the SHIPPING BADGER."
GM:"So unfortunately DEV and QA your product isn't doing very well and we're either going to need to change what we are doing or perhaps shift everyone to someone else. We'll try both these options at the same time.
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